you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
