real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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