I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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