DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
