i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
