Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize