When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
