Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've blown a few things in my day
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
