the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
