I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
