i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
