Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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