it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it's like heaven, but drunker
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
