Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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