I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
