Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
