Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
