There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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