I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
