you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
