Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
