please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize