Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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