Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
