shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
