How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
