I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
