how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
