was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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