i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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