that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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