Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
