i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh god it's open bar.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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