yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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