does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
