so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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