Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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