I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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