shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
