Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
