Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
