Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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