i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize