i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
