they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize