At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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