So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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