Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
