I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
