nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
