But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
