He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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