The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
