You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
