i think i have herpe
just one?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
